today at 11:36 pm, shoshy is turning 4 months. we can’t help but notice how much shosh is changing daily. she is getting to be so heavy, her teeth are coming in, she just laughs and constantly smiles and sings, she can hold herself up standing like for 30 seconds with us just barely supporting her, she grabs like crazy and she is starting to crawl..

david and i are amazed how fast she is developing and how fast time flies! it’s even funny we don’t even remember now what it was like before we had a baby. we are excited with all the developments she’s been going through lately but at the same time, we will be missing our baby girl :-) :-( (sigh… mixed emotions)

i have not been updating here as much as i find it easier to update in facebook, uploading pics and videos. but i’ll still keep this alive and try to put interesting content in here. (as i am boring you already with baby stuff lol)

we’ve been thinking more and more of going home to the philippines soon. we’ll see how that will materialize..

other than that, everything’s great! hope everyone is well. i have to keep up with all your other posts coz i know it’s been a while…. :-)

laters!

I never knew the feeling of loving a child unconditionally, come to the point of willing to die for — until i had a baby. I was thinking of all the things I am fearful of doing and that which I would never do — but the thought came across: what if my child’s life was on the line?

I discovered that I would scale mountains and cross oceans, and yes, even put my life on the line just to save and be with my child.

I think it’s amazing how God put into the human design the capability of being parents. It is so that we can actually KNOW and experience how He loves His children unconditionally — even to the point of giving His life for us. I think being a parent is a huge faith booster.

I have learned to appreciate God’s commands even more. I learned that when God commands us to do something, something He mentions in the Bible, He knows very well why we have to follow it. It is for our own good. Being an All-Wise and an All-Loving Creator, He never intends anything to harm us nor withhold anything that is good for us. He just wants the very best for us — even to the point of sharing His majesty and splendor with His children in the future.

Being a human with limited understanding, I want my child to trust and obey me. So how much more should we trust and obey God completely and take Him at His word?

I leave that thought up to you :-)

yAy! my first blog for 2009!

thanks to jebby for getting our (mine and meryl’s) sites working again! and thank you meryl for the new look! :-D thought it’s time for a change because of all the MAJOR changes that has been happening lately ;-)

it just seems like yesterday that Shoshana was born. But now, she’s already 3 months!!! I cannot believe it.. it seems like she just has grown overnight. I would say she is one smart kid. As early as 2 weeks, her eyes would follow me around and she would focus on people’s faces, studying them intently. At 9 weeks, she would respond so well to david and i, like she’s carrying out a conversation with us. And now at 12 weeks, she is giving out hearty laughs and giggles! We are so happy for her development and we thank God for her everyday. I think the sleepless nights are paying off already :-D

Aside from baby stuff, David and I are doing very well. I cannot be a more happier wife and mom :-) I am blessed to have a very helpful, kind, considerate, loving, sensitive and responsible husband. I am so proud of him because he is such a good daddy that Shoshana is turning out to be a Daddy’s girl :-) He plays with her all the time upon arriving from work and also when he can, comes home for lunch just to see and spend time with us. I love it when he comes home for lunch, it is such a special treat! It means a lot because he’s got very limited time but still makes the effort.

It’s a new roman calendar year. The past year has its ups and downs but i would say it has been a very bold and challenging year for us. We got pregnant in January, travelled A LOT! (i have seen 11 states already since i got here), started our own business, moved into a new place, had a baby and now we’re a family of three! That’s a lot that can happen in a year! We feel very blessed despite the economic down-turn. We place our lives, our future and our plans in God’s hands, knowing that He will direct our paths. He has been faithful everyday providing for all our needs and protecting us. We thank Him for the things we know He has blessed us with and the things we do not know too. I’m sure there’s more out there that our eyes cannot see.

As I write this, I am remembering the events that happened on that fateful day of january 16th, 1987 - also a friday. To those who are my friends at FaceBook, you can just read the account there. I posted the story “In the Shadow of Death” written by my father and “Held Hostage” written by my brother Daniel. I just find it significant coz this year, the date falls on the same day as it was 22 years ago. And how can I forget my youngest sister’s birthday? She was born right after my dad got home from that hostage drama.

Happy Birthday Meryl! We love you so much! I personally cannot imagine life without you… :-) [But then again, if you were not around, i would have been the youngest and I would have been assuming your role of being the center of attention LOL just kidding :-P] You have grown into being a beautiful, kind-hearted, talented, smart and responsible young lady. I am so proud of you. Please keep your light burning brightly. (why am i writing this here? i will just copy-past this to your website.. hahaha]

i have to start from the birth of the baby, and then, i can blog on to other stuff :-D whew! finally!

*****************************************************************************

started: thursday, october 30, 2008

we have to miss this year’s feast because of the baby’s birth. as you all know, october 12th came rolling right along and no sign of baby.. until six days after. those six days were the longest days for both david and i. we were all geared up on having the baby at home but the baby was taking its sweet daisy time =) we were kind of anxious because we want to head up to steamboat springs if the baby comes a little bit early. we really missed being at a real feast site. keeping it at home is really not the same.

well, for the birth stuff, to start with, i really have no clue what real contractions should feel like. i was having painless cramping for days and i thought that that was the real deal. i felt that i would be having the baby anytime. (i was hoping that those contractions were the real stuff… but no.. lol) we purposely didn’t want to have an internal exam prior to the real labor (to see how dilated am i) because we just prefer it that way.

well the pain came right around friday but it was not that intense and it was still erratic… but i thought that was it! i was having a baby! we started timing the contractions until up to 3 am saturday dawn and it was like 45-55 seconds in duration and 4-5 mins apart. we were using the online contraction timer and david was all crazy about getting the average time of my contractions, putting it all into an excel speadsheet and even graphing it! LOL that saturday dawn the contractions got more intense so we called the midwife around 3 am and she came and checked how dilated i am and i was disappointed to know that i was just 2 cms =(

i was so ready to have the baby already and was feeling very uncomfortable. i was just concentrating on breathing and relaxing. david is such a tremendous help and a wonderful birth coach!

saturday morning came and the contractions are still pretty much the same in time and intensity. david just gave up on the charting thing since it was exhausting and it’s pretty much status quo… lol. he got some rest while i cannot really get rest. i have not been getting enough rest anyway weeks before so i’m kinda used to it.

we were trying to help the dilation along by walking that saturday afternoon but i just have to tell david to stop after every 5-10 steps because the contractions are already coming in pretty hard. i have to hang on to him on the neck and groan.. it was pretty intense.

anywayz, the contractions kept escalating to the point that i have to tell david to call the midwife around 10 pm that night. david bought me a fit ball and i was bouncing on it to help with the pain of the contractions.. that was fun and was so helpful.. now i need to actually use it for its intended purpose, to be fit LOL =)

going back to my story, when the midwife checked me, i was already ready fully dilated (thank God) coz i cannot handle it being more painful and just to say that i have a little more ways to go. thankfully, i didn’t know that i have already passed the transition phase and i was just so elated when the midwife said it’s time to start pushing.

i loved the pushing part. we tried different pushing positions coz i just had a big baby with my petite frame. =) i’m trying to recall, i think i’ve been pushing for 45 minutes-ish.. lol

as i was pushing, a lot of interesting things happened. it seems like i had more than one bag of water… the big bag of water splashed on my midwife’s face as i was pushing (lol) but before that i was already leaking some fluid when i was having contractions. (we were suspecting it was amniotic) so when i started pushing, a sheath of membrane came out. the midwife marveled at it as she has never seen that before. we were suspecting if it came from the bag of water i was leaking from? there was a suspicion that i could have been carrying twins but just got dissolved in the early stage. another reason for the suspicion that i could have been carrying twins was because the midwife hasn’t seen a placenta so huge from all the hundreds of single babies she’s delivered LOL and like 6-8 hours after, a huge mass of placenta like thing / clotted blood came out of me (sorry for all the gory details.. lol) we really don’t know. but all those were just interesting. and i lost a lot of blood too. it kinda got david and the midwife scared but thankfully, it stopped. i was just very weak after the labor from fatigue, lack of rest for a couple months, loss of blood and i did not have the appetite before the labor to eat. all the food and snacks i’ve prepared were gone when we were waiting for the baby to come LOL

well, for all its worth, the baby was well cushioned with my supposedly “many bag of waters” and has gotten a lot of nutrients and oxygen supply from that huge placenta.. =)

the baby came out at 11:36 pm, october the 18th, saturday night, with a full head of hair, wide-eyed and alert weighing 8 lbs and 3 ounces and 19 3/4 inches long. david caught her and it was such an amazing moment. they gave the baby straight to me for it to suckle. i can still remember holding her for the first time. she was so warm and beautiful =) it was so funny at first, we were all caught up with the excitement of the baby coming out that we forgot to check “down there” (coz remember we were expecting a boy .. lol) it was such a huge and pleasant surprise to see that it was a girl!!!

we couldnt ask for a more healthier and beautiful baby. the midwife said she is just too perfect and beautiful for a newborn babe. and we both agree =) (of course, we’re the parents =P LOL)

that’s it for my birth story!!!

finally concluded: december 10, 2008